Very Old Poem

The kids are writing poems in their 8th grade language arts class. Evidently their teacher is a sadist. She assigned them a sestina, and gave them four days to accomplish it. This sent me digging for my old sestina. Written in 1989, it turned out to be amazingly prophetic.

When Lovers Come to Court

Like a sham that covers pillow ticking,

makeup hides the pain. My face is tender

but no one will know. These dull eyes trace

the outline of a shape that isn’t mine.

I’m not that old. Defiantly the mind slips

back…. I should have known when we were courting.

Love is blind! Your mother said you would court

Death if you thought she would have you. Ticking

lovers off a list like groceries. My slip

is missing! Devotion was your tender

for my hand, my life! For all that was mine.

Now this cruel betrayal. My fingers trace

in the dust on the dresser. There’s no trace

of ownership--what’s yours, what’s mine. The court

will decide. It’s not as though there’s a gold mine.

But! There is the old mantel clock ticking

over  the fireplace. The judge will tender

me that. You’ll fight it. Maybe you’ll slip

into that arrogant---  Ah! Here’s my slip!

And I must stop it now; there is a trace

of hatred in this heart once so tender.

Oh! I remember dancing in the court

yard. Do you? The strident tell-tale ticking

of my heels on the marble. You were mine

then. Weren’t you? Or were you ever mine?

Check my face--whited sepulchre--then slip

into the taxi. The meter ticking

off the miles, it shies and balks at the traces.

The building seems more a church than a court

house. The flower beds are full of tender

tulips. I applaud the gardens’ tender

silently. The dim hall presents a mine

field. I cannot make it to the court

room. I know I can’t. From nowhere you slip

into step beside me. Is there a trace

of grief at my heels’ familiar ticking?

Suddenly you wax tender, gently slip

your hand in mine. Your regret--just a trace--

tempers the court clock’s incessant ticking.

C 1989    Ellen Rae Mabry Hafen

Sestina